Lt. Governor Dan Patrick Gets a Dose of Reality atan Austin CBD Shop

Stone Slade

Original High At 9 News Story

03-20-2025

You ever notice how the people who scream the loudest

about a problem are often the ones who don’t actually

understand it? Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick is a prime

example. He’s spent months trying to ban all forms of

THC in the state, claiming it’s for the good of the children

—because nothing says ‘protecting kids’ like ignoring the

actual science and shutting down legitimate businesses.

Well, this week, Patrick decided to take his concerns

straight to the source. He walked into The Happy Cactus

Apothecary in Austin and asked a simple but ridiculous

question: “How many children buy your products?”

Because, apparently, despite running the state’s Senate, he

still doesn’t understand how ID laws work.

But the best part? The store carded him. That’s right, the

second-most powerful man in Texas, the guy trying to

shut down the entire hemp industry, was asked for ID at a

CBD shop. When he said, “I’m Dan Patrick,” the

employee responded, “I still need to see your ID.”

Beautiful.

Store owner Todd Harris said Patrick got the full rundown

—how they educate customers, cap their doses at 50 mg

per serving, and ensure minors don’t get in. And you

know what? By the end of the conversation, Patrick

admitted the shop was “doing things right.” Imagine that.

A business following the rules, carding customers, and not

letting kids waltz in and grab a bag of gummies like it’s a

candy store. Who would’ve thought?

Of course, Patrick wasn’t there just for a casual chat. He’s

trying to push Senate Bill 3, a bill that would effectively

wipe out the hemp industry in Texas by banning all forms

of consumable THC. Harris saw Patrick’s visit as a last-

ditch attempt to gather talking points for his crusade,

though he did manage to point out that banning an entire

industry because of a few bad actors is like shutting down

all restaurants because one place had a rat problem.

And speaking of bad actors, let’s talk about the real issue:

Texas politicians love to create boogeymen. Right now,

that boogeyman is THC—because, apparently, a plant that

helps with pain relief is more dangerous than, say, a bar

on every corner or the easily accessible opioids flooding

communities.

Patrick and his supporters have been pushing hard on the

“think of the children” angle, using fear to justify

sweeping bans. Meanwhile, the Happy Cactus Apothecary

sits across from Crockett Early College High School and

has gone out of its way to be a responsible neighbor. Just

this week, Harris’ attorney sent a letter declining to

participate in advertising for the school’s baseball team—

not because they don’t support the students, but because

they didn’t want it to seem like they were marketing to

minors.

And yet, that’s the kind of nuance lost in political

grandstanding. Patrick sees dispensaries and assumes kids

are walking in and buying THC like they’re picking up a

soda at a gas station. But reality? Reality is a Lt.

Governor walking into a store, asking a loaded question,

and getting a dose of his own medicine when he gets

carded like any other customer.

Now, will this visit change Patrick’s mind? Probably not.

But at least for a moment, he saw what a well-run hemp

business looks like. And if nothing else, we all got the

satisfaction of knowing he had to dig out his wallet like

the rest of us.

Meanwhile, Patrick is doubling down on his anti-THC

crusade. After Senate Bill 3 passed the Senate 24-7, it

now moves on to the House, where the battle over Texas’

hemp industry will continue. Patrick issued an official

statement celebrating the bill’s passage, once again

painting THC as a dire threat to the state’s children while

conveniently ignoring the thousands of responsible

businesses and consumers who rely on hemp-derived

products for pain relief and wellness. His rhetoric remains

the same—scaremongering about rogue retailers and

exaggerated THC content, despite the actual regulations

already in place.

So, while Patrick may have learned something from his

visit to The Happy Cactus Apothecary, don’t expect it to

change his crusade. He’s committed to banning THC in

Texas, facts be damned.